Santa ClaraJuly 16
I arrived at FrostieJ’s home in Santa Clara, CA on Thursday. I was very happy to see her. We spent a few minutes chit-chatting.
FrostieJ had searched a Panda Dating Website and arranged a date for me. Her name was Shalonda. We shared a few Coronas.
I was feeling a little frisky and in my excitement, I bit FrostieJ. She did not like it.
So, I borrowed her computer for a while to surf the net. I was trying to find my one true love, or at least something to take my mind off of her.
I then turned to my new friend, who welcomed my advances. I was beginning to get over my heartache for you-know-who.
After we got aquainted, I was feeling much better…so much better that I removed that stupid button.
FrostieJ took me and my new friend, Shalonda to “Buck’s of Woodside”, which is TAR9 Tyler’s family’s restaurant.
A couple of very nice ladies were throwing me a welcome to CA party. I could not wait to meet them.
They were truly a blast. It was Honeycocoa and Pink Godzilla!! They kept an eye on me.
Even when I was swinging from the boot suspended from the ceiling, they were there.
Honeycocoa spoke with TAR9’s Dave on the phone. I eavesdropped.
I was in pure heaven. I frolicked around the bar. Finally Shalonda asked me to show her some attention.
I sat back down with Shalonda, but WOW…I spotted one Hot Furry Mama. I had to do something to impress her.
I donned a beautiful headpiece. I knew that I would get this hottie’s attention.
On the way to the restroom, I was stopped my some bitch. She was not my type.
Then, this toadilly cool dude stopped me. He had recognized me from my website. He was upset, his friend had croaked.
Oh, man…was I honored to be photographed with The King! Eat your heart out. I am a hunk-a-hunk-a-burnin’ love.
I posed with Honeycocoa, FrostieJ and Pink Godzilla. We were really having a great time.
I was also honored to have my photo taken with Lady Liberty. I am a proud American.
On my way back to the table, the hottie stopped me. I got lost in her eyes…..and in her….
I think I pissed Shalonda off. I had really had too many Margaritas. Thank goodness it was time to go. Hottie left with us.
I think maybe the girls had too much too…they said something about mounting the biggest thing they saw….woo hoo.
I had never ridden a wooden fish before, but it seemed like the girls had.
The next morning I woke up to a surprise. Shalonda wasn’t happy at all. In fact, she stormed out.
I did not feel very well. After Shalonda left, I spent a few moments worshipping the porcelain throne.
Later that day, I got to know my new hottie. She was so sweet and playful.
We shared a few kisses and laughed a lot.
What a sense of humor she had! There was a knock and my lil’ hottie answered it. I heard a scream.
It was horrible.
It was Shalonda…with a weapon!
I ran and hid. I did not want to be harmed. I have heard about Internet dating nightmares.
I disguised my self and felt a lot safer.
I could not get over the sight of my little headless hottie. I knew it was time to go.
I ran and got the labels and asked FrostieJ to send me away.
We said our goodbyes. One thing led to another, I stayed the night.
So, it was goodbye to FrostieJ and I was off to my next location. I need a vacation.