Stuck in SuburbiaOctober 20
I got tired of waiting for Rachel at the Lost beach, so I asked Babalu to send me back to the mainland. She said it was OK. I was finally visiting a racer who wouldn’t drop me off the Sears Tower! I had heard Babalu talking about sending me to something that sounded like “Kris” or “Chris.” Since there were lots of “Kris”-es and “Chris”-es on The Amazing Race, I figured I had a pretty good chance. But when I opened the box, I found a girl cub looking back at me! I felt confused. I didn’t know Kris or Chris had cubs. But it turned out I was highly mistaken. (Those are some of the big words I learned here.)
I was in New Jersey, and I was staying with a young TARfly named Tris. Anyway, shortly after I arrived Tris had to practice the piano. (I watched from the music stand.) When she was done, she got an idea that maybe my Rachel will be impressed if I can play the piano. So she showed me how to play a few songs, and I think I sounded pretty good.
The world’s first panda pianist genius!
But when Tris’ dad came by, he told her that maybe I should impress Rachel other ways, and she seemed to agree. She couldn’t figure out something just yet, so I went up to her room. There were lots of pretty girl bears there!
There was a bit of confusion about who my Rachel button referred to, since one of the bears’ name was Rachel, and she thought the button was for her. (She was pretty cute, too.) But I shall remain faithful, unlike in California. I have matured greatly! I shall resist!
The next day, Tris and her family were going out for lunch with some friends, and I hitched a ride.
I don’t like traveling in purses, but hey, a panda’s gotta do what a panda’s gotta do!
It turned out that they were going for dim sum! Tris gave me a ride on a little carousel on the table.
I had dim sum after TARcon, but I didn’t really like it then. I don’t like it very much now either. Tris and her friend Spazzbert McFriendly thought I was crazy, but I think I’ll stick to bamboo. Luckily, Tris found me some!
After my meal, I wanted to go for a swim with the giant fish in the pond. Some of them even leap out of the water, so I thought it would be pretty cool, eh?
But Tris caught me and said that I couldn’t. She did take some cool pictures though.
I was so tired after my meal! I thought I’d listen to some relaxing music.
Here I am checking if Rachel is on TARflies,
and helping Tris with her English homework.
I was starting to feel a little bored, but then I got an idea. Rachel loves High School Musical, and Tris’ school play is High School Musical! I looked through Tris’ audition material
and I studied the songs. I was just in the middle of belting out “Breaking Free” when Tris found me and said it was time to watch The Amazing Race.
In this commercial, someone is wearing a goofy Groucho Marx nose.
Kellie and Jamie were eliminated in this episode. Tris cheered when Lyn and Karlyn reached the mat, and after Kellie and Jamie were eliminated, she did something called the “Happy Dance.” She taught me how to do it too, so I could impress my Rachel by dancing. But I think she’s better at it than me.
Tris said I have two right feet or something. Whatever that means.
The next day, I found myself in Tris’ purse again. She said that we were going to a thing called school. It was even more packed than when I rode in it to the Chinese restaurant, and I got really scared. Then, I heard a sweet voice calling my name. It could only be my Rachel! I thought. For a long time, I searched the deepest recesses of Tris’ purse, until I found her. But it wasn’t Rachel-Tris had another panda living in her purse, and a cute one too. She said her name was Amanda and she lived on Tris’s cell phone. We talked some more, and after finding out that we were mutually compatible
(This photo has been censored)
But about 2 seconds after that began, I felt light on my face-Tris was opening the purse!
BUSTED!
Tris said I was a very naughty bear. She had to watch a movie called “The Miracle Of Life” in health class- and I had to watch as punishment for all the naughty things I had done.
I will not disclose the details, but I saw what no panda has seen before, and I never want to see it again. I should report Tris for cruelty to pandas!
She showed me a photo of a kitten on her camera, and I felt a little better. Tris dropped me back in her purse. But when she opened it again later well Amanda and me had been tossed around a bit when she ran, and
This isn’t what it looks like.
I had to have a time-out in Tris’s locker! But later I told Tris that it was an accident, and she apologized and found a friend for me.
I tried to teach him to say, “I love Rachel.” The only problem is that he didn’t speak panda.
As the second part of her apology, Tris gave me some human food that I actually like. (Was it REALLY an accident? I’ll never tell.)
She also got me a Vitamin Water. (Man, I love that stuff!)
For the rest of the day I just hung out, and the next day Tris was sick and couldn’t go to school. She didn’t play with me, and Tris has no pets for me to play with ever since her fish died. Tris didn’t want me getting sick, so I stayed with Tris’s dad for the day. Since he’s married he must know how to impress girls. Tris’s dad told me if I was smart, Rachel would be impressed and would like me more. So I read the dictionary
and practiced onn some of the cute girl bears in Tris’s room. They didn’t seem very impressed, but my Rachel must be more sensitive to these things.
The next day, Tris went back to school and I rode in her purse again. Tris says that artistic boys impress her, so I studied my lyrics in chorus. Tris covered her ears, but maybe other bears will like my singing.
OK, scratch that idea.
That night, I sat on Tris’ desk while she did her homework, and I noticed these funny things with designs on one end with points on the other. Tris said that they were earrings and she wears them in her ears. I asked if I could wear them. Tris thought about it, and then said yes! But then I discovered that Tris had to put a hole in my ear with a needle first.
I don’t like needles! The zookeepers used to stick them in me when I was a baby, and they hurt a lot! So
Tris woke me up, and the next time I was a brave panda. Tris made the hole, and we picked out some earrings.
Too big.
Too girly.
Too big and girly.
Just right!
The next day, I was getting a little hungry for bamboo, since I hadn’t had any since the Chinese restaurant. Tris didn’t have any in her house, but she knew where to find some.
Ahh, what bliss!
Bamboo and Vitamin Water, it doesn’t get any better than this! If only my Rachel were her to share it with me
A few days later, Tris was using iTunes to listen to music. I remember that Rachel has very strong feelings for High School Musical, Celine Dion, and U2-so I asked Tris to make a mix CD. Tris had her doubts about how much Rachel would like it, but with my cute, pleading voice, I won the fight!
Here I am making my Rachel’s new favorite CD!
I have to go back to Austin where miri is going to take me to TutCon. Rachel was supposed to be there, but she couldn’t come. (Sob) However, I have the CD to make sure the Weasley twins or another one of her boyfriends don’t get her before I do. And maybe a Canadian TARfly will take me to Rachel after TutCon! (Hey, a panda can dream…) In the meantime, I have a REAL way to impress Rachel-walking in high heels!
Well, maybe not.