Back to GothamOctober 30
So after TutCon, unfortunately, no one could offer me a lift to Toronto. The Last Dodo, however, offered to let me crash with him in New York for a bit if I wanted. I decided that sounded like a good idea because even if I couldn’t find Rachel, I did really like New York the times I’d been there, and since I’d already gotten the touristy stuff out of the way, I could just relax and see what it was like to live like a real East Villager! Now that I had my ear pierced, I was sure to blend in like a native!
We got back to his place, where an official welcome to New York was already waiting for me.
The Last Dodo and his friend Jessica took me out on a tour of the neighborhood. The Last Dodo even had a comfy traveling vehicle for me so I could relax and enjoy the sights.
Here is The Last Dodo and me on his front steps.
Then we were off! Here I am traveling in style.
This is the Life Café, which is mentioned in Rent. The Last Dodo lives a block away from where Rent was set.
Then we went across the street to one of the coolest places in the East Village-Tompkins Square Park. Tons of things have happened here-everything from Vietnam War protests in the 60s to Wigstock.
This is me and Jessica at the Temperance Fountain. It’s been around since 1891! The other sides say HOPE, CHARITY, and TEMPERANCE at the top.
As long as I was here, may as well get a drink, right?
Tompkins Square Park is also a great place to relax and people watch. Here’s The Last Dodo and me taking a break.
Then Jessica and I played a game of chess. It was a little hard with no pieces, but we managed. I won, of course.
All hail the Chessmaster! WHO’S NEXT?!?
One of the cool things about New York is you never know what you’re going to find just walking around. Just outside the park was a small Farmer’s Market on the sidewalk. Here I am inspecting the pumpkins.
St. Marks Place between Second and Third Avenue is one of the most famous and crowded blocks in the East Village, although it’s kind of touristy now. Here I am on the Second Avenue corner.
Next we stopped by the famous Theatre 80 St. Marks, which has been around for ages-You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown ran here in the 60s. For a while it was a revival movie house, but now it’s a theater again.
They have handprints of the stars out front. You can’t see it too well, but here’s Joan Crawford’s. I think she’d be mad at the dirt.
A couple blocks up, The Last Dodo was shocked to see that the famous 2nd Avenue Deli had closed. Just like Theatre 80, though, they also still have something theater-related on their sidewalk-stars commemorating the stars of Yiddish theater, which was big in this area years ago.
Katz’s Deli is still around, though. This is where the woman wanted to have what Meg Ryan was having in When Harry Met Sally.
All these food destinations made us hungry. Of course, when you’re in New York, you’ve got to get some pizza at some point!
But there are plenty of other things to eat here, from the exotic to the staples like burgers…
And fries.
That fry guy was a little scary. I think he needs some serious therapy. And/or meds.
Then we decided to see a movie-Marie Antoinette. I was pleasantly surprised to find that every seat in the theater had panda-sized accommodations!
After the movie, Jessica went home and The Last Dodo and I explored the neighborhood some more. There are so many things to do in the East Village! Like-
“Good evening! I’m Julie Chen.”
*blinks*
“It’s been a busy week for Tai Sham, the runaway panda from the National Zoo! How has he spent his time on his trip to New York? And will he ever connect with Rachel, the world’s bitchiest receptionist from Toronto? BUT FIRST–”
“Um–”
“I’m sorry, Tai Sham. You can’t speak until we reach the portion of the program where I address you. And now, let’s say hello to the runaway panda. Hello, runaway panda!”
“Bite me, Chenbot.”
“Tai Sham, the runaway panda from the National Zoo, has just directed profanity my way. How will this affect my continuing presence in this blog? And will–EEP!”
I don’t screw around.
ANYWAY, like I was saying, there are so many things to do here. For example, you can get a tattoo!
I was going to get a big heart with RACHEL on it, but unfortunately their special fur needles were on backorder.
Then The Last Dodo took me to one of his favorite places-The Sunburnt Cow.
It’s an Australian restaurant by his house that has awesome food and drinks. As you can see, all the furniture has a cow motif.
Did I mention how awesome the drinks are?
They also have the friendliest staff in the world. When our bartender found out my mission, she insisted on getting a picture of the two of us.
Then it was time to call it a night. The next day, The Last Dodo explained that he couldn’t bring me to his work at the event marketing firm because they have a strict NO PANDA policy ever since the last one embezzled a bunch of money and gave away trade secrets. I wanted to have a chat with the owner about panda discrimination, but The Last Dodo said that since he was only freelancing there, it was probably best not to make waves. I understood, although there went my plans to be Temporary Senior Ombudsman. He gave me free rein of the apartment while he was gone, though, so I hopped on the Internet and caught up on vital current events.
He did take me along with him when he got his hair chopped off, though. His stylist Kirsty made me an Official Dye Assistant.
Finished result.
So the next day, while he was at work, I decided to-
“Oh, look Endora! It’s Tai Sham the panda!”
*sigh*
“He’s searching for his true love Rachel, the world’s bitchiest receptionist! Of course, little does he know that I’ve placed a curse on him dooming him to search forever in vain! You see, if Tai Sham and Rachel ever meet, the resulting overwhelming joy and happiness will destroy the Dark Side forever! And if that were to happen, then you and I, Endora, as witches, are doomed! And we simply can’t have that!”
“Um–I can hear you.”
“Oh! Well–um–er–oh, pay no attention to me. I was talking about a DIFFERENT Tai Sham and a DIFFERENT Rachel, you see! Yes, that’s it! It’s all the rage nowadays, you know! Well, I’d best get back to Harmony. Siren the Mermaid is causing problems again! You see, the Mermaid’s Curse specifies that once a mermaid makes love to a mortal…”
Sigh. Well, great. I’m cursed. It did explain a lot, though. I’ve been searching for Rachel for months and months and…nothing. I felt like a clown.
I guess, deep down, I-
“Ever since he was a little cub, Tai Sham the panda had always believed that–”
“Oh, go learn a new speech pattern, you annoying repetitive smug self-satisfied dead hag!”
“Er–spring comes every year to Wisteria Lane!”
“And that’s different from the rest of the world how exactly, lady?”
“Um–cameras are instruments used to capture images–AACK!”
ANYWAY, I was really depressed. I didn’t know what to do. So I tried talking to some of the other people in the apartment.
Carrie was a good listener, but she didn’t say anything. She just stood there. And stared. It creeped me out, quite frankly.
So I tried talking to The Duck, but he wasn’t particularly receptive.
So I guess I’m on my own. Maybe listening to some upbeat music would take my mind off things. The Last Dodo has a huge collection!
This looked like a nice cheery selection!
Or not. Great. Now I feel ten times worse. So I tried drinking to numb the pain…
Didn’t work. In desperation, I tried something I’ve seen people do in movies…
All it did was tickle my nose, though. Maybe that white powder is something else? I knew it was something-cane, so I just assumed…
God, I’m miserable. My whole life is a lie. Maybe I should just end it all….
Just then The Last Dodo came home. He immediately gave me a big hug and made me some coffee to sober up.
I told him what had happened and he told me I should have called him immediately, and that in the future I could call him anytime, day or night, if I ever needed to talk. That made me feel a little better. Furthermore, he said Tabitha was a pretty incompetent witch so odds are the curse wasn’t even that strong. I still felt kind of depressed though. So he made me take a good long look at myself in the mirror….
…until I could start to see my old, happy self. It took awhile, but eventually I could do it! Then he told me that he understands what it’s like to feel depressed and like things are hopeless, but that he was confident I’d meet Rachel soon. And sometimes, he’s found, just when things are at their darkest, life will give you a sign of some sort to help you keep going. Then he tucked me in and told me to get some rest.
And sure enough, in the middle of the night-
It was a sign! Just like The Last Dodo said! But I wonder what tidings-
YAY! I was overjoyed! Although I wonder-
Ah. But I was so happy I couldn’t stand it! Now I know exactly where to find my beloved Rachel! I woke The Last Dodo up and he was so happy for me too! Now the only question is-how can an underemployed actor/event coordinator get a panda with no assets to Toronto?