I heard a bunch of TARflies were getting together in Chicago to see some dead guy. A guy that’s been dead a long time. I didn’t quite understand wanting to see that, but I’d heard that Rachel had promised to be there and that if she backed out, people had planned on kidnapping her! I had to go – if for no reason than to protect her from these morbid kidnapping weirdoes.
I flew out there with my friends Mei Mei and lucinator.
We were greeted at the airport by Tribefan and emjaytee.
Then miri took me out to see the Frank Lloyd Wright Studio.
We got to tour his house. It was nice not to be the exhibit for a change. After that, we went out for a tasty dinner (these gals know how to eat) and to the store to pick up some supplies. That’s where we ran into a scary mad scientist! He tried to turn me and Kanuck’s friend Baby Panda into his latest experiment!
Thanks goodness the ladies noticed and rescued me.
What did they rescue me to, though? They said something about pirates in emjatee’s room. Pirates? Aren’t they kind of scary?
emjaytee doesn’t think they are. She introduced me, Baby Panda and Mei Mei to Captain Jack. Turns out the ladies (lucinator, TPorter2, pinkgodzilla, Tribefan, emjaytee, Kanuck and miri) were having a pajama party so that they could watch a movie. (Some people got more into the idea of “pajama party” than others.)
So, we settled down to watch the movie. Seems like someone was more interested in watching us, though – miri snuck up to take pictures of us.
Of course, that meant someone had to take a picture of miri taking a picture of us. Turns out, these people love to take pictures of people taking pictures! It kept happening the whole trip!
After we were pirated out, it was bed time. We needed our sleep to be ready to see the dead guy the next day.
The following morning, lucinator, Kanuck, miri and I walked to a big aquarium. We stopped to take some pictures along the way – of course! The aquarium was in a place called the “Museum Campus” because there are so many museums around. We posed for a picture on the sign and then found out why it’s called “The Windy City.”
Lucky for us, Kanuck came to our rescue before we blew away!
We saw a statue honoring Christopher Columbus. It said something on the base about him discovering and claiming the land. For some reason, this made everyone snort.
Near the museum, there’s a great view of the city, some water and pretty boats. We sat and enjoyed it for awhile.
There were a lot of birds there!
I found a big giant head on the museum grounds. I thought for sure that a head that large must contain a lot of wisdom and could help me find Rachel, so I tried to talk to the head.
But he wasn’t a very chatty fellow.
The aquarium was a lot of fun, but my friends seemed more interested in the fish than a stuffed panda, so they didn’t take a single picture of me in there! Hmph! They only took one picture of me in the museum where they saw the dead guy.
Bart let me wear his cap. He was really happy and said that the tigers won. That scared me because I’m just a little bear! They just laughed though. Sometimes, I really don’t think they like me very much. Oh well, it will be worth putting up with all that time stuffed in their bags (something about pandas not being allowed in the museums) in order to see my Rachel! They were going out to dinner that evening for Chicago-style pizza. Rachel likes food, right? Certainly she’ll be there.
All the TARflies are planning on meeting at the hotel lobby before dinner and that’s where I got to meet my new friends Mr. Loraxe and wgram.
No, sadly, not Rachel, but fun people just the same! Lucinator also made sure I got to hang out with my panda friends.
And then another newcomer showed up – a BURRO! We did our best to make him feel right at home.
Since we weren’t sure if the pizza place had bamboo on the menu, we helped ourselves to the table decoration.
We waited and waited, but no Rachel. I met the people who were supposed to kidnap her and asked them what was up. They said they were worried they would get in trouble at the border and be sent to jail. I don’t know what “the border” is, but I kind of have an idea what a jail is and that doesn’t sound good. So, I forgave them even if it broke my heart. I spent the rest of the evening in miri’s bag – too upset to show my face to all my friends. I didn’t want to spoil their good times and they respected my need for some alone time.
Knowing I was upset, my friends tried to distract me the next day. We started out going on a boat! In the wind…and the cold. We got to see a lot of cool things, but I sure would have enjoyed it better if I could have cuddled up to Rachel! I had to make do with Kanuck.
I’m sure Rachel would have overlooked the sea sickness, right?
After that, we went to the pier and on a HUGE ferris wheel! You could see all around the city and pretty far away. Not quite far enough away for me, though.
I also went on a surrey ride with my panda friends.
And, before we left, I got to go on the Merry-go-round with PepeNY and Ryan! It was fun…well, until the lion decided he wanted a snack.
After I was rescued (again!), we went walking around the city a bit. I got to see Buckingham Fountain – they started one season of Rachel’s show here.
There was a lot of spitting going on at the fountain.
Tribefan did her best to keep me safe from all the spit.
Next up was a lot more walking. Everyone was mesmerized by a thing called “The Bean” – too mesmerized to be bothered taking my picture there. Hmph! I did get to meet a cultural cow though.
At least, I guess he was cultural as he was outside of the Culture Center. That was nice, until I got in the way of one of his horns and, once again, had to be rescued.
Chicago’s turning out to be a tough town!
Next up was a big dinner with something called Crudite that I wasn’t allowed to touch. That didn’t seem to stop the TARflies from touching it…and being naughty.
After that, I needed a drink.
Or five.
Not everyone there was scary or doing strange things with squash. In fact, some people were nice.
Wait? Isn’t that the scary man who held a gun to my head one time! Eeeeee! Make him go away! I decided to try and hide in the crowd…
…and have a few more drinks.
On the way back to the hotel, we met a gorilla!
He was nicer than some people at the party. That’s for sure.
And then, it was time for everyone to leave. Another trek without Rachel. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Luckily, one of Rachel’s pretend boyfriends offered to take me to NY next. I’ve been to NY so much, it’s kind of become a second home to me, so I took him up on the offer.
October 25, 2006 at 9:50 pm | Travels | No Comments
I got tired of waiting for Rachel at the Lost beach, so I asked Babalu to send me back to the mainland. She said it was OK. I was finally visiting a racer who wouldn’t drop me off the Sears Tower! I had heard Babalu talking about sending me to something that sounded like “Kris” or “Chris.” Since there were lots of “Kris”-es and “Chris”-es on The Amazing Race, I figured I had a pretty good chance. But when I opened the box, I found a girl cub looking back at me! I felt confused. I didn’t know Kris or Chris had cubs. But it turned out I was highly mistaken. (Those are some of the big words I learned here.)
I was in New Jersey, and I was staying with a young TARfly named Tris. Anyway, shortly after I arrived Tris had to practice the piano. (I watched from the music stand.) When she was done, she got an idea that maybe my Rachel will be impressed if I can play the piano. So she showed me how to play a few songs, and I think I sounded pretty good.
The world’s first panda pianist genius!
But when Tris’ dad came by, he told her that maybe I should impress Rachel other ways, and she seemed to agree. She couldn’t figure out something just yet, so I went up to her room. There were lots of pretty girl bears there!
There was a bit of confusion about who my Rachel button referred to, since one of the bears’ name was Rachel, and she thought the button was for her. (She was pretty cute, too.) But I shall remain faithful, unlike in California. I have matured greatly! I shall resist!
The next day, Tris and her family were going out for lunch with some friends, and I hitched a ride.
I don’t like traveling in purses, but hey, a panda’s gotta do what a panda’s gotta do!
It turned out that they were going for dim sum! Tris gave me a ride on a little carousel on the table.
I had dim sum after TARcon, but I didn’t really like it then. I don’t like it very much now either. Tris and her friend Spazzbert McFriendly thought I was crazy, but I think I’ll stick to bamboo. Luckily, Tris found me some!
After my meal, I wanted to go for a swim with the giant fish in the pond. Some of them even leap out of the water, so I thought it would be pretty cool, eh?
But Tris caught me and said that I couldn’t. She did take some cool pictures though.
I was so tired after my meal! I thought I’d listen to some relaxing music.
Here I am checking if Rachel is on TARflies,
and helping Tris with her English homework.
I was starting to feel a little bored, but then I got an idea. Rachel loves High School Musical, and Tris’ school play is High School Musical! I looked through Tris’ audition material
and I studied the songs. I was just in the middle of belting out “Breaking Free” when Tris found me and said it was time to watch The Amazing Race.
In this commercial, someone is wearing a goofy Groucho Marx nose.
Kellie and Jamie were eliminated in this episode. Tris cheered when Lyn and Karlyn reached the mat, and after Kellie and Jamie were eliminated, she did something called the “Happy Dance.” She taught me how to do it too, so I could impress my Rachel by dancing. But I think she’s better at it than me.
Tris said I have two right feet or something. Whatever that means.
The next day, I found myself in Tris’ purse again. She said that we were going to a thing called school. It was even more packed than when I rode in it to the Chinese restaurant, and I got really scared. Then, I heard a sweet voice calling my name. It could only be my Rachel! I thought. For a long time, I searched the deepest recesses of Tris’ purse, until I found her. But it wasn’t Rachel-Tris had another panda living in her purse, and a cute one too. She said her name was Amanda and she lived on Tris’s cell phone. We talked some more, and after finding out that we were mutually compatible
(This photo has been censored)
But about 2 seconds after that began, I felt light on my face-Tris was opening the purse!
BUSTED!
Tris said I was a very naughty bear. She had to watch a movie called “The Miracle Of Life” in health class- and I had to watch as punishment for all the naughty things I had done.
I will not disclose the details, but I saw what no panda has seen before, and I never want to see it again. I should report Tris for cruelty to pandas!
She showed me a photo of a kitten on her camera, and I felt a little better. Tris dropped me back in her purse. But when she opened it again later well Amanda and me had been tossed around a bit when she ran, and
This isn’t what it looks like.
I had to have a time-out in Tris’s locker! But later I told Tris that it was an accident, and she apologized and found a friend for me.
I tried to teach him to say, “I love Rachel.” The only problem is that he didn’t speak panda.
As the second part of her apology, Tris gave me some human food that I actually like. (Was it REALLY an accident? I’ll never tell.)
She also got me a Vitamin Water. (Man, I love that stuff!)
For the rest of the day I just hung out, and the next day Tris was sick and couldn’t go to school. She didn’t play with me, and Tris has no pets for me to play with ever since her fish died. Tris didn’t want me getting sick, so I stayed with Tris’s dad for the day. Since he’s married he must know how to impress girls. Tris’s dad told me if I was smart, Rachel would be impressed and would like me more. So I read the dictionary
and practiced onn some of the cute girl bears in Tris’s room. They didn’t seem very impressed, but my Rachel must be more sensitive to these things.
The next day, Tris went back to school and I rode in her purse again. Tris says that artistic boys impress her, so I studied my lyrics in chorus. Tris covered her ears, but maybe other bears will like my singing.
OK, scratch that idea.
That night, I sat on Tris’ desk while she did her homework, and I noticed these funny things with designs on one end with points on the other. Tris said that they were earrings and she wears them in her ears. I asked if I could wear them. Tris thought about it, and then said yes! But then I discovered that Tris had to put a hole in my ear with a needle first.
I don’t like needles! The zookeepers used to stick them in me when I was a baby, and they hurt a lot! So
Tris woke me up, and the next time I was a brave panda. Tris made the hole, and we picked out some earrings.
Too big.
Too girly.
Too big and girly.
Just right!
The next day, I was getting a little hungry for bamboo, since I hadn’t had any since the Chinese restaurant. Tris didn’t have any in her house, but she knew where to find some.
Ahh, what bliss!
Bamboo and Vitamin Water, it doesn’t get any better than this! If only my Rachel were her to share it with me
A few days later, Tris was using iTunes to listen to music. I remember that Rachel has very strong feelings for High School Musical, Celine Dion, and U2-so I asked Tris to make a mix CD. Tris had her doubts about how much Rachel would like it, but with my cute, pleading voice, I won the fight!
Here I am making my Rachel’s new favorite CD!
I have to go back to Austin where miri is going to take me to TutCon. Rachel was supposed to be there, but she couldn’t come. (Sob) However, I have the CD to make sure the Weasley twins or another one of her boyfriends don’t get her before I do. And maybe a Canadian TARfly will take me to Rachel after TutCon! (Hey, a panda can dream…) In the meantime, I have a REAL way to impress Rachel-walking in high heels!
Well, maybe not.
October 20, 2006 at 9:50 pm | Travels | No Comments
In Which Tai Sham Thinks Paradise Sucks Because Rachel Is Nowhere To Be Found
It took me a really long time to travel this time. I think I must be in the middle of the ocean or something! When I finally got here, I was greeted by Babalu and Mr. Lu. They told me it’s traditional to get something called a lei when you visit. I’m not sure what that is, but I think it’s some sort of flower necklace.
There are lots of Buddhists in China, where my mom and dad used to live, so I decided to share my lei with Buddha.
It turns out I’m allergic to lei. Or maybe Buddha.
I was a little jet-lagged from the long trip, so I found a nap buddy. Her name is Hokulele, which means “shooting star,” and she’s awake in this picture, but, believe me, that’s rare.
When I woke up, Mr. Lu showed me the T-shirt he bought at the National Zoo before I was even born!
Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
Finally it was time to go look for Rachel!
At least, that’s what I thought, but the Lus insisted that I go snorkeling first. Sigh.
I had to get a mask and fins. You know what they say about the size of your feet.
We were in Waikiki,
so we FINALLY started looking for Rachel! I heard that sometimes she looks at the live web cam. I made the Lus take me there so Rachel could see me!
Since Duke Kahanamoku at the web cam site was a famous surfer, I decided to try surfing myself. It was pretty fun!
Still no Rachel – but I was starting to get a pretty good idea of where she might be.
I was geting pretty hungry, so we stopped for a snack.
Yum!!!!
Then we headed to the North Shore of the island. I decided to sit on the beach where Rose was at the beginning of Lost because she knew that she was going to get together with her beloved Bernard, just like I know that I’ll be with my beloved Rachel someday.
I asked the Lus to take me to the second Lost beach to see if my Rachel was there. I looked at the catering tent because I was afraid she might be cheating on me with Sawyer, but there didn’t appear to be anyone there.
So, I waited
and waited.
And I’ll keep waiting as long as it takes……
October 1, 2006 at 9:34 pm | Travels | No Comments
I’m at the San Diego Zoo! Since Rachel loves pandas so much, lucinator thought we might find her here at the Giant Panda Research Station.
This nice lady is Peg. She talks to all the people who come to the research station so I asked if she saw Rachel. Unfortunately, since there were so many people coming through, she didn’t remember seeing Rachel.
I saw Su Lin playing with her mom, Bai Yun, so I asked them if they saw Rachel. I don’t think they heard me though, since I was using my “quiet voice”.
Wait, Su Lin heard me! Unfortunately, she didn’t see Rachel either.
When we left the research station, I was hungry so we stopped for dinner.
This poster brought back memories of my first year, when Rachel first started watching me.
I climbed up this tree to look for Rachel but I didn’t see her anywhere.
Lucinator took me into this building where I found lots of cousins! I heard that there’s a place in China just like this.
One of my cousins decided to come with us his name is Mei Mei.. I like it because it reminds me of my mom’s name.
As we walked around, I saw these birds. They remind me of Rachel’s friend, miri, so I took a picture with them!
Unfortunately, we didn’t find Rachel so it was time to leave the zoo. I hope I find her soon!
September 23, 2006 at 8:13 pm | Travels | No Comments
I heard that there was going to be a party in Vegas to watch the premiere of the new season of Rachel’s favorite show: The Amazing Race. Since I was staying with miri and she was headed out to the party, I thought I’d go along. We got there and met lucinator in the airport. Here I am on her suitcase.
After settling in to the hotel room, lucinator and miri decided to get some dinner and stroll around a bit. We ran across this total faker at the foot of an elevator. He didn’t impress me – I’ve been to the real Elvis’ house.
miri saw this flamingo in a store window. After I tested it out, she decided to buy it.
Then I saw a purse that reminded me of my Rachel! I wish I’d had enough money to buy it for her.
Next, I rocked it up a bit – playing guitar and singing a duet.
After the song, I tripped and fell. I really wasn’t trying to look up Marilyn’s skirt – honest!
I think these guys misunderstood my trip and tried to protect Marilyn’s honor. Help me!
I managed to escape and got lost on the casino floor. I tried my luck with the Daily Double Spin & Win, but I’m too small to spin the wheel.
Next up, I tried a Star Wars slot machine, but it was out of order. Perhaps I’m not a gambler at heart.
Very early the next morning (did I mention it was very early?), miri, lucinator, Tribefan, PepeNY and myself all took a bus tour to the Grand Canyon. 10 hours is a lot of time to spend on a bus. I did my best to pass the time – visiting with the ladies, watching the scenery, getting some alone time and reading a book with PepeNY.
We stopped for lunch and had a run-in with an outlaw! I had a flashback to my time with Steve and Dave.
After more time on the bus, we stopped at a souvenir place. I met some cute cousins and one scary one!
I tried on a fur hat and, despite the fact that I looked most dapper in it, it just didn’t seem right, you know? I can only go so far in my quest to impress Rachel.
There’s such a thing as a jackalope? Who knew!?
Riding horses is fun!
I checked the post office for a letter from Rachel, but nothing was there. It looks like the PO doubles as a doctor’s office for “man or beast.” I talked to the doctor and he said there was no cure for a broken heart.
I had to take a few minutes to think and ponder what to do after hearing that my heart can’t be healed by medicine. I guess that means I only have two choices: give up and go home or soldier on. I chose to continue my quest!
I started to look for items at the store that could help me get to and bring Rachel home. Maybe I can lasso her!
Wouldn’t this make a cute little home for two?
How long would it take to get to Canada in a wagon?
Too long. I decide to try a helicopter and go with miri, PepeNY and lucinator. They say we are going to the Grand Canyon – a big hole in the ground. I’m hoping I can talk the pilot into forgetting about the stupid hole and take me to Rachel.
Okay, I have to admit, the Grand Canyon was pretty cool. The pilot, however, was mean and wouldn’t take me to Canada.
We got back on to the bus and went to a place called “The South Rim” – turns out, it’s another place to look at the hole. I wanted some new reading material for the way home.
Oh, okay. The hole still looks cool from here.
And I got to share the view with some good people. Don’t worry, Rachel, they were no substitute for you.
By the end of the trip, I was actually sad to say good-bye to the Grand Canyon. Either that, or I wasn’t looking forward to the long bus ride back to the hotel.
The next day, we went to Siegfried and Roy’s Secret Garden and Dolphin habitat at the Mirage hotel. I’m kind of glad the only Siegfried and Roy that were on hand were the ones in this mural – the real guys look a little freaky.
I guess some of their prize tigers heard me thinking freaky thoughts – I was mauled!
I decided it would be safer to hang out by the dolphin pools. They are cute and wouldn’t hurt a panda.
After a tasty lunch at In and Out Burger, we went to Red Rock Canyon. Pinkgodzilla showed me how to get to the hiking path.
I’m not really much of a hiker though. Instead, I just enjoyed the view and soaked up some sun.
As we were leaving the park, I saw a tree called a Joshua Tree. I think I remember hearing that Rachel had strong feelings for a man named Bono and that he once posed for a photograph near a Joshua Tree. So, I made the ladies stop the car and I did my best Bono impersonation. Do you think this will win Rachel’s heart?
Finally, that evening was the party for The Amazing Race! I’d missed Rachel all over and around Vegas, but she’d certainly be at the party. I hung around Brennan for awhile since I know Rachel likes him a lot. In fact, I’ve seen a picture of her grabbing his ass. I decided to give it a try.
Hmm. Didn’t do much for me. I must admit, Joni’s tweaking was more to my liking.
Oh no! That meanie Dave is here! He doesn’t like me at all. I guess that means I don’t have to feel bad about not liking him.
I also got to meet Doyin. He sat at our table and was hungry as a bear – so we hit it off quite well.
But then it was time to leave Vegas…and still no Rachel.
September 19, 2006 at 10:18 pm | Travels | No Comments
